Southern Comfort
by midnightfaith
Summary: Lindsey returns to LA... Lindsey/Lilah don't like the ship? Don't bother to read or review...
1. Default Chapter

Southern Comfort (1/?) 

Author- Midnight Faith 

Feedback- missangel186@hotmail.com 

Spoilers- 'Dead End' 'Loyalty' and 'Sleep Tight' 

Distribution- FF.net, AOH anyone else just ask :) 

Pairing- Lilah/Lindsey (when is it ever anything else?) and some Wes/Fred stuff… as an experiment 

Rating- R 

Summary- Lilah has to make choices when her life gets complicated…

Notes- For Gary for setting me this challenge, Chris for being my rock and Lynne as always… I love you guys

Disclaimer- not mine… yadda, yadda 

And a side note… you don't like the pairing don't bother to review OK? 

The sharp knock on her door came as a surprise and sent tiny shivers down her spine. 

On instinct she glanced at her watch. 7:59. 'This better be good,' she thought as she struggled up from the sofa, briefly smoothing down her black tank top and jeans she'd slipped into after work. 

Friday night. 'Friends' night. Lilah liked to watch the oh so perky, six from Manhattan. She didn't think she'd ever laughed once at it she just liked to watch the way they interacted. Not with acidity or possessiveness or any of the things forged within her own relationships. But with love and affection. Lilah didn't think she'd ever truly been loved. Not once in her life. 

Reaching the door she slowly clicked open the three locks briefly contemplating that it might be a grapplar demon sent by Gavin to rip her throat open… or not. She doubted even Gavin, who she considered the closest thing to an arch nemesis right now, even thought of her that much. 

She swung the door open forcefully. 

"Thirty seconds…" her tone was angry but she trailed off when she saw who her visitor was. 

For a moment time seemed to stand still as she locked eyes with him. Then as if in slow motion the remote that she held in her left hand crashed noisily to the marble floor the batteries ripped away from their container on impact. 

"Lindsey," she said impartially, dropping to her knees to pick up the component parts of her remote. She made it so her eyes skilfully avoided his; eager to conceal the shaking of her hands, which she was grateful, hadn't seeped into her voice. 

"Hey," he said cautiously, bending down to pick up a battery that had bounced it's way out of her front door. 

Without really meaning to, their eyes locked and Lilah parted her lips in a silent, unnamed question. Neither of them moved until Lindsey pulled himself off the floor offering his hand down to her and drew her from the ground. 

"Here," he said handing her the battery, before saying, "You're shaking." 

"I guess I'm just a little shocked," she said poignantly, "Here you are. On my doorstep." 

She turned around and he followed her back into her living room, shutting the door behind him and sliding all three bolts across. 

"You can never be too careful," he told her, standing by the door as if he were nervous or afraid of her. 

Lilah nearly laughed at the inanity of it all. Here they were stood in her living room, having worked together side by side for almost four years and they were acting like virtual, awkward strangers at a cocktail party. 

She walked over to the TV, flicking it onto standby. 

Silence seemed to creep into and flood every corner of the room, starving the air of oxygen so much so Lilah felt she could no longer breathe. 

She gestured to her red, velveteen sofa and he sat down woodenly gratefully accepting. 

"Aren't you going to sit down?" he asked her. 

She shook her head slightly. 

"No, I'd rather stand," she told him a little indifferently. 

"So you stand up, in your own apartment… a lot?" he asked trying to cut the tension in the air. 

"Not normally no," she bit back, "special occasion," she retorted with a caustic smile. 

He shook his head slightly. 

"Are you ever going to change?" he asked her with a hint of frustration in his voice. 

"Around you? Never?" she told him, before biting in, in a sliced tone, "What are you doing here?" 

"So we're cutting right to the chase? No small talk? No 'how are you?' 'Good how are you?' stuff." 

"No, you're going to tell me why you're here…" she told him defensively. 

He held out his hands to her hoping she'd take a truce. 

"Just kinda found myself back in LA…" he told her, "Simple as that." 

"So you just thought you'd look me up?" she shrugged her shoulders slightly. 

He nodded. 

"Pretty much. I just wanted to check you were still alive…" 

"What? Were you hoping I wasn't?" 

"No I…" 

"You've seen me. I'm fine. So can you just go?" Lilah cut in feeling the anger rise in her veins over the man who essentially abandoned her. 

"Lilah…" he tried to softly mediate with her. 

"What did you expect Lindsey?" She asked him, feeling six months worth of anger bubble underneath her skin, "A 'welcome back' party?" She felt as if someone had drained all the energy out of her in that allegation and she crossed unsteadily over to the sofa, sitting down beside him, trying to maintain her distance. 

"I had no choice," he told her softly, shifting slightly closer to her. She made no attempt to move away, not really feeling the energy to. 

"And I'm sorry," he told her. 

She exhaled shakily. 

"You don't mean that," she told him vapidly. 

"Yes. I do." He told her exasperatedly. 

"You never mean anything you say." 

"So what if I've changed?" He asked her with an integrity he'd never really shown her before. 

She sighed slightly. 

"You'll never change," she told him, half a cynical smile almost sliding into he features. 

"And what about you?" he asked her smoothly, "Will you ever change? Have you?"

"Can we not?" she asked, standing up sharply, crossing her arms and turning back to face him. 

"OK…" 

"So where have you been?" she asked quickly, trying to change the subject, swallowing hard. 

"Cruising around the mid west I guess," he said with a shrug. "I went home for a couple of months and then I remembered just why I left. Oklahoma's just… a giant dust bowl I guess. So before I knew it I was back in LA…" He paused for a moment, half expecting her to say something. When she didn't and just continued to look at him, her eyes betraying no emotion he added, "How's your mum anyway?" 

"She's OK I guess," Lilah said softening slightly, thinking maybe he actually cared, "She barely recognises me… but she's not getting any worse." 

"And…" 

"And nothing," Lilah said, visibly relaxing, feeling the fury drain out of her body. 

"Nothing? Family, friends… boyfriend?" Lindsey asked. Lilah briefly wondered if it was a hint of jealousy in his voice before she quickly concluded she was just imagining things. 

She shook her head. 

"Nothing." She smiled genuinely at him. What was it that made her suddenly come to trust him? 

His face suddenly became serious as he walked over to her, putting his hands on her arms. 

"I *will* make this up to you," he said staring, deep into her eyes, as if trying to drown in the sapphire oceans. "Let me take you out for a drink." 

She nodded and wordlessly followed him out of the door as if on autopilot… 


	2. Southern Comfort II

Southern Comfort (2/?) 

Author- Midnight Faith

Feedback- missangel186@hotmail.com 

Spoilers- 'Dead End' 'Over the rainbow' 'That Vision Thing' 'Carpe Noctem' 

Distribution- FF.net, AOH anyone else just ask :) 

Pairing- Lilah/Lindsey 

Rating- PG-13 

Summary- Lilah and Lindsey talk 

Disclaimer- not mine… yadda, yadda

They strolled along the LA sidewalk in comparative silence in the humidity of the July evening. Their eyes subconsciously searched some of the less known, wide, palm tree lined boulevards for a place where they could just 'talk.' 

Lilah suspected, as her eyes scanned the left side of the junction, that they'd end up in some over modern bar, the interior composed solidly of chrome and tacky Styrofoam where the music was too loud to hear above anyway. With the opposite nightmare of course being some soft, quixotic jazz bar where the cocktails were too expensive and composed entirely of coconut and papaya so they would sit in silence, stirring their drinks with thin, blue straws, thousands of ice cubes jangling against the sides of the tumblers. 

Eventually they agreed on a peaceful cellar bar. Candles burned in old-fashioned faux oil lamps in the centre of each table, situated in secluded alcoves. The inside was composed entirely of jagged sandstone, which cancelled out the humidity of the July evening turning it into a frosty January night. 

"Will you go and get a table?" Lindsey asked Lilah. 

She nodded, grateful for a moment to consolidate her thoughts into some consistent sequence as he headed over to the almost deserted bar to get their drinks. 

She slid into the last alcove of the row with a curving corner seat swathed in slightly cracked red-brown vinyl. 

This place, Lindsey being back after so long, the whole 'going out for a drink' was making her feel a little dizzy. Like she was trapped in a place halfway between a dream never dreamed and harsh reality. 

She watched Lindsey intently as he walked back over from the bar, a drink in each hand. He set down a clear spirit in the bottom of a small glass in front of her. 

"Gin and tonic." He clarified. "Is that OK?" 

She nodded and couldn't help but shiver involuntarily as he slid into the booth next to her. 

"You can have my sweater," he told her, "If you're cold." 

"No," she refused, "It's OK." Then after a few more strained moments of not speaking she added "It's about five degrees colder than it is outside." 

He smiled. 

"Yeah," he said, "The stone is an insulator… it repels the heat," she looked at him as he explained "Benefits of high school physics." 

"I liked biology," she affixed. 

Silence fell on them again as they both sipped their drinks. They soon both discovered drinking spirits quickly wasn't a pleasant experience and left a decidedly painful burning in your throat and ears. 

"So how long are you in town for?" she asked him somewhat directly. 

"I don't exactly know yet… I guess it depends if I can get a job anywhere or not." 

"Where are you staying?" she said nervously. 

"Not exactly sure of that either. I saw a motel about three miles down the road from you… actually it was kind of hard to miss the giant, flashing green cactus sign." 

"I think a lot of murders happen there…" Lilah trailed off before offering precariously "You can stay with me for a couple of days… only if you want to… I mean if you can stand the sofa." 

Lindsey looked at her searching her eyes. 

"You sure you don't mind?" he asked her surprised. 

She shook her head,

"But I've got a lot on… so I might not be around much," she said desperately trying to avoid the subject of work especially that of Wolfram and Hart. 

He nodded. 

"I understand," he said, before adding quietly and painfully, "I remember what it's like." 

"Things are crazier since you left," she explained cautiously at first, "I think the client list has like, tripled and the brainpower in the division is nada and…" she didn't finish her sentence suddenly shaking again. 

He pulled his sweater over his head and draped it around her shoulders. 

"Thanks," she said with a fragile smile, "But I don't think it was a cold shiver. More of an emotional shiver." 

"You feel… emotional?" he said hesitantly. 

"Kind of… I guess. It's the first time we've ever really been honest with each other… ever. If I tried to share the slightest hint of emotion with Gavin he'd freak…" 

Lindsey seemed to visibly draw back from her. 

"Gavin?" he asked, battling to keep his voice indeterminate. 

"Yeah," she said, suddenly uncomfortable, "He kinda works with me… for me… we work together…" 

"Oh," Lindsey said not knowing what he really felt. 

"He's no you," she cut in quickly, "He's way over-ambitious, and manipulative and shallow…" she trailed off and shifted away slightly, "He's nothing compared to you." 

"That's sweet," he said, reaching out to brush her hair away from her face and moving it behind her shoulder. That was when he noticed the scar of two puncture wounds embedded into her neck. 

"What's that?" he asked dubiously. 

"Nothing," she said, defensively her hand flying to her neck. 

"Lilah…" 

"I just… got bitten that's all… it's nothing it's just a scratch," 

"Who bit you?" 

"It doesn't matter… no one…" 

"Was it a client?" 

"No… Lindsey…" she tried to reason with him. 

"Was it Angel?" his direct question hung in the air. 

"Not technically…" Lilah said after a long time. 

"Not technically?" 

"No… there was kinda someone else in Angel's body…" she blushed slightly. 

"So… it was a … sex thing?" he asked rather uncomfortably. 

She shrugged a little. 

"Maybe…" she paused for a moment to lick her lips and say, "I mean I was lonely and he was there and…" 

"Lilah you don't have to justify yourself to me…" he cut in sympathetically. 

She shivered again. 

"God what is wrong with me?" she said thankful for the natural intervention. 

Tentatively he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. 

"Was that a cold shiver or an emotional shiver?" he asked, into her hair. 

"Fifty, fifty," she told him a little breathlessly moving closer. 

"Four years and we barely touched," Lilah stated with a hint of affection. 

"Maybe we should have… would that have made it any better?" 

She looked up; her eyes glazing over with unshed tears and nodded… 


End file.
